Photo by Bart Bernardes
as soon as jacob rolled the stone
away it all came bursting forth like
the waters of a long forgotten spring he
he told her of his sorrow and
his fear his shame and
regret all the dreams
he dared not recall
in the light of day
when rachel took him to her father’s
house laban ran out and embraced him
jacob told him of his journey laban
smiled and tightened his grip
my god you’ve got your mother’s eyes
then leading him into his house he added
i believe the two of us
are going to get
along just
fine
(Genesis 29:1-14)
Yedid Nefesh 
a forgotten spring… and if I shoud find it, will I remember it, after all? Will I recognize it as the source? Will it wash away my anger, my shame, my fear? Or– in rediscovering my start, will the scars of these demons no longer exist at all.
Can I one day leave my home, my place and find another where I will be welcome… where disputes can be resolved, and if I should misinterpret, misunderstand or become volatile or resistant, will that also be excused? what do they call that kind of love? Unconditional– isn’t that the word? Then, I wonder, what ARE the conditions? To achieve, to find acceptance, recognition, attention… How I pray, and how it burns in my blood, to find the answer to my quest. The beginning once more, a forgotten spring.