i’m not calling out to you any more.
no more simplistic, needy prayers.
no more pleading to you for rescue
on my day of trouble.

they say there’s none like you
but i’m starting to realize
that you’re all created
more or less the same:
jealous, imperious, possessive
and come to think of it,
pretty needy in your own right.

for so long i’ve sent out my yearning,
for too long i’ve fixated on you
and your boundless largesse,
never stopping to consider
you might really just be
a reflection of my own
inner impoverishment.

so as of now you’re off the hook.
i’m going over your head.
i’m daring to imagine
a boundless source of beneficence
yes, even beyond your own.

no expectations, no desire to fill
this bottomless well of need.
i’m sending my prayer straight into
the heart of my longing,
beyond hope, beyond desire,
for isn’t this the place
where all prayers are truly
and finally answered?

will you help me
do away with my foes?
or more to the point,
can you help me see how
how my need for enemies
is starting to eat away
at my soul?

oh, how i envy your cool
and aloof demeanor,
the way you look on
with such detachment
even amusement
while we growl and rage
at shadows above and below.

what must your think of us,
forever preparing for
fight or flight even as
the world collapses around us, even as
all we’ve ever known or loved
may soon be swept away?

i realize it’s too much
to ask of you to take away
my fears completely –
but i’m thinking maybe
you might just show me
how to live as you do:

not with the quiet that comes
after the fire has raged
and there are no more
adversaries left to destroy,

but rather the calm
that comes from the knowledge
that i don’t need
to create enemies
to finally live in peace.